Author Suzanne Venker Responds to 'War on Men' Column Backlash: "This Is Not About Women Returning to Their Former Lives as 1950s Housewives"
Author Suzanne Venker recently penned a book called "How to Choose a Husband And Make Peace With Marriage," but it may be choosing a wife that modern men are becoming less interested in doing. In an article on FoxNews.com, Venker discussed why she attributes a declining marriage rate and interest among men to the "War on Men."
According to a new Pew Research Center study, marriage rates in 2011 showed 51 percent of adults were married. Compare that with 1960, when the number was 20 percent higher, with 72 percent of adults being married. According to Venker, the "rise of women" in society could be partly to blame ... an assertion for which she's received blowback following her column.
Today, she spoke with Fox and Friends to explain her thoughts, first setting the record straight about what her article did not intend to do.
"This message is not about women 'returning' to
their former lives as 1950s housewives and being submissive and not working outside the home or being docile and obedient. This is an issue about gender relations in this country that I think needs to be addressed from a different angle, and that's why I wrote this particular article," she said, later adding, "there's definitely more to the story than just what I have in the article."
Venker cited what she calls a slew of books and articles questioning gender relations based on what men need to do; she says she's trying to flip that notion on its head, but railed back at the idea that the premise of her article and book is that the rise of women has angered men to the point where they're 'not into marriage.'
According to Venker, it's easy to spot a trend among young people priding themselves on focusing solely on the career they're going to have. What's so bad about that? Venker says, nothing.
"If you're somebody who doesn't want to get married and have kids [...] then have at it, but most people do want to have families," she said. The focus has shifted perhaps too much.
"What you have today is women who are specifically trying to do it the opposite way that women used to [...] where they'd go to college and settle down right away, so they flipped that, which is absolutely fine ... but the problem is the focus has shifted so greatly that there's no thought to marriage and motherhood and how that's gong to fit in around this other core focus," she said.
"What's happening for a lot of people is that the attitude toward marriage is one that it's something that's going to keep you from becoming something, and I'm saying that attitude in general is what's harming people, because you're carrying it with you."
Venker went on to say that women need to learn to relinquish some of the control and sometimes, let the man be the man. "You don't have to be in charge all the time ... it's okay to depend on a guy. That's gotten lost in this whole female empowerment, 'hear me roar,'" she said. "You can absolutely work and have that life but don't let it infiltrate into a relationship that's supposed to be about intimacy and not about power."
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